I am wife to a magnificent man and mother to five wonderful children. Three of my children were born in the Northwest and two were born thousands of miles away in Liberia, West Africa. Birthplace is no matter, all of my children were born in my heart. This is our journey.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Pressed but not crushed

I have been putting off posting. I'm just not feeling very posty the last couple of days. But I have found, that for me, if I can write about something it does help me to process better. So here I am.

I found out on Monday that I am now a diabetic. Right on the edge of being one, but the word is out there. It's in mine and Steve's family so it is something I watch for. I already had a meter and have for quite awhile, checking the kids and I from time to time as it can show up at anytime.

I was told the news and have been in disbelief since. I started taking my post meal sugars since the call and they have been perfect, no sign of it. I thought maybe there was a mistake. But then this morning, there it was. My morning fasting sugar that has been beautiful every other time I had checked it until I stopped checking six months ago. Well, it was high this morning. Not scary high but a clear reality check.

Cold hard reality.

At this point, we are hoping it is magageable with diet and exercise. There have so many people in my life that I know or have known that have Diabetes. I feel like I already have so much information and know what changes I need to make. But I will start diabetes education classes in December so that I can have as much information as possible.

Information is my security blanket. There is power in knowledge and it helps me to feel somewhat in control when I am feeling out of control. But the truth is I am not in control. Now there is a cold, hard reality for me. The good news, however, is that God is. He knows better than I do and He knew this was coming. There I will try to rest. I say try because I know me. But I will try.

I am not wallowing, just grieving a little. I'll be back to my old chipper self soon.


Grab_the_Irons said...

So sorry to hear about the diabetes. It just kind of takes the wind out of your sails when something like that pops up. Just remember who is in charge of your life...

Pam said...

Sorry to hear about the diabetes. It's so disappointing when something you're trying so hard to avoid happens anyway. "Grab the Irons" said it very well, just remember who is in control.