I am wife to a magnificent man and mother to five wonderful children. Three of my children were born in the Northwest and two were born thousands of miles away in Liberia, West Africa. Birthplace is no matter, all of my children were born in my heart. This is our journey.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

To train or not to train...

that is the question, with a relatively no brainer answer. Training is better but it requires so much on my part that often it gives way to me just doing things myself. I have heard it said that there are those personalities that recharge by being with people and those that recharge by being alone. I am sure there are many variations between. I am a half and half kind of person. I need to be with people as much as I need to be without. I enjoy the one night a week that my husband has class. I miss having him home but that hour between the kids going to bed and him coming home is a recharging hour. Not one person needs me to talk to them or interact with them and my entire house is quiet. It's not very often that my place of work is my place of rest.

It has come to my attention that in seeking solitude here and there I have taken off my house manager hat and in it's place put on a maid hat. I have become lazy in my training role. I have done the thing that so many well meaning moms have done. Especially those of us who homeschool and already crack the whip so to speak making sure all t's are crossed and i's dotted. When it comes to chore time I have been allowing the bare minimum and often times shortening the list just so I don't hear sighs and have jobs half done. Instead when they have done a couple chores I send them out to play while I go behind picking up the slack. They subconsciously know that if they leave something out I will put it away. But see that's the important key. If I was training, making them clean up and follow through and not allowing the sighing then there would be less chores and the chores left would take less time in the long run.

This is not a new concept to me. I am very familiar with it. It seems from time to time I revisit this same place of why everything is chaotic. Without fail each time it comes back to me. Ah yes it's me. Am I managing well? Have I been training or am I just on maid patrol? It's easy to blame the kids and say well they aren't picking up after themselves, they are not being considerate. Those things may be true but I have allowed it. Kids are wired that way. They will look for the boundary. When it's not there they push farther until they find it.

So off I am to the trenches of training. When I am fulfilling that role my kids are happier. They know what's expected of them, the house is orderly and their mom has more time for fun. That's what I want to remembered for. Not for being a martyr who can't get it all done. It's my job to show how fun it is to be a mom, how fun having kids can be. To show them how much I love having them around.

Hopefully someday my kids will appreciate their chore training. If not them then maybe their spouses will. If you are mom reading this and struggling with the same thing today take heart! Training is well worth the investment. We just have to get ourselves started. The benefits are almost immediate.

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