Fear

I'm a little more than tired of the windy weather. I love the sound of it but not so much the tall oak trees that bend and move and threaten to break and share parts of their lanky bodies all over the house and cars.

When we moved here it was gorgeous. It was spring and the leaves were green and the grass was in the cool shadows of the tall old oak trees. The trees are what drew us to this place but they are also the reason that I lie awake many fall and winter nights cursing those tall trees and threatening to pull up stakes and move already.

I've had two such nights this week. It's been a tiring process of convincing myself that laying awake thinking and listening and is not going to keep anything from happening. Resigning to the fact that I can only pray for protection and beyond that I have to rest and trust. Easier said than done my friends.

Added to my own issues is that our oldest son is now having some night time issues. He has always struggled here and there with making sure the doors are locked and not sleeping until I get home if I am out for some reason. Lately, however, it seems to have escalated for him. Every noise strikes fear in him and he has been so tired. Watching him and his worry has been like looking in the mirror. He says the same things I say and the feelings are so very real.

I have been learning this week that I need to model what I do with the fear. Praying with him and letting him know that I can be confident in our protector. My words won't mean much to him if my actions don't match them. Last night he read his bible before bed and went to sleep listening to worship music as he does most nights but he still didn't rest very well.

Fear. It can be gripping but it does not have to have a hold over me.