Pressed but not crushed

I have been putting off posting. I'm just not feeling very posty the last couple of days. But I have found, that for me, if I can write about something it does help me to process better. So here I am.

I found out on Monday that I am now a diabetic. Right on the edge of being one, but the word is out there. It's in mine and Steve's family so it is something I watch for. I already had a meter and have for quite awhile, checking the kids and I from time to time as it can show up at anytime.

I was told the news and have been in disbelief since. I started taking my post meal sugars since the call and they have been perfect, no sign of it. I thought maybe there was a mistake. But then this morning, there it was. My morning fasting sugar that has been beautiful every other time I had checked it until I stopped checking six months ago. Well, it was high this morning. Not scary high but a clear reality check.

Cold hard reality.

At this point, we are hoping it is magageable with diet and exercise. There have so many people in my life that I know or have known that have Diabetes. I feel like I already have so much information and know what changes I need to make. But I will start diabetes education classes in December so that I can have as much information as possible.

Information is my security blanket. There is power in knowledge and it helps me to feel somewhat in control when I am feeling out of control. But the truth is I am not in control. Now there is a cold, hard reality for me. The good news, however, is that God is. He knows better than I do and He knew this was coming. There I will try to rest. I say try because I know me. But I will try.

I am not wallowing, just grieving a little. I'll be back to my old chipper self soon.